I stood over his bed in the dark and could just make out his tiny little hands and face in the glow of the lamp light. He had been sleeping soundly for about ten minutes, his warm body cradled against me. My little baby was only two weeks old.
It’s hard to describe the wave of emotions that swept over me ushering me into mommyhood… The strongest was this protective kind of love. It was this heart wrenching feeling when he cried that I just wanted him to know everything was ok, mommy and daddy loved him. An overwhelming feeling that no matter what happened, I would do whatever it took to keep him safe and well.
I guess what you would call the mama bear instinct.
What surprisingly came with this love was also a fear. A fear I had never felt before, this terror that something might happen to him. He was so little and fragile and the thought of anything happening to him just about killed me. My stomach would turn into knots, it was hard to breathe. I first recognized this fear then, when he was two weeks old.
Have you ever felt a fear creep in on you? My fear felt almost paralyzing. And then I knew I had a choice. I could either let it control me, or do the dirty work of dealing with it.
I knew deep in my heart I had to give the fear to God.
So I stood there in the glow of the lamp light, taking in all of his tiny little features that needed my protection… and I prayed. I asked that the Lord would give me grace to hold this little one loosely. For grace to open my mama bear paws and put my baby back in His Heavenly Father’s hands.
My baby is mine to steward, not to possess.
I had to give my baby to God. I knew I had to trust God with him. God gave me Wilder as a gift and stewardship, and his life is ultimately in His hands. Which is exactly where it should be.
Because there’s no place more safe or secure.
Are you struggling with a fear in your life? Maybe you don’t have kids, maybe it’s something else. Do you have fear of letting go of a situation because you feel like it’s something you can’t trust God with? My dear friend, give it to the One who made you. He is faithful, and He is trustworthy.
I’m praying for you. Give it to Him.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear…” Matthew 6:25 (NIV)
If you’ve made up your mind to give a fear to God, I would love to hear about it & pray for you… We’re all in this together!
If this blog post tugged on your heart strings, you have a friend with a new baby, or you feel like someone might be encouraged by this post, please share on social media below!
My friend Cari of Sunlettering teamed up with me to create these beautiful shareable verse reminders. Feel free to instagram or pin to pinterest, just tag @suzyvandyke & @sunlettering in the post so we can see!