I sat on the little couch trying to nurse him, but he screamed and pushed me away, flinging his head back. Right then my blood sugar dropped (I have hypoglycemia) and I got a weak spell and felt like I could barely move.
Lukas was working on a wood project on another part of the property here where we’re staying in Honduras, and I wondered if I was going crazy because how in the world could one little baby make me feel so exhausted?
Two of my neighbors here have 7 kids. Why couldn’t I take care of one?
Did I really need help? Am I going crazy? Taking care of one baby should be easy!
As I started feeling worse, I decided I really did need help, and was able to take Wilder to the house next door where he could play with friends for an hour so I could take a quick nap and reset my blood sugar.
Earlier that day I was astounded that it had taken me 45 minutes to make applesauce and feed Wilder. 45 minutes??! Peeling, cutting, steaming, mashing apples. Giving tiny little bites to a tiny little mouth.
Why does feeding him take so long? Why can’t I take care of him and get 17 other things done? Why do I feel like I’m not doing enough and not doing a good job?
I had all these thoughts going on in my head, and struggled with feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing a good job. Frustration, doubt, inadequacy…
When I’m feeling conflicted, all I can really do is stop and ask God what HE thinks about the situation. And ask Him to give me HIS perspective. I’m so thankful God’s Word gives us truth about whatever situation we are in!
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is TRUE …think about such things.” -Philippians 4:8 (emphasis mine)
Basically at the root of the struggle, here are the lies I was believing:
- The stuff I wanted to do was more important or meaningful than taking care of Wilder.
- I should be able to do everything and if I don’t I’m a bad mom
- I should be able to do it without help.
SO after sorting through these things…here is the truth I have to remind myself of (daily!) when these struggles pop up…
- “Children are NOT a distraction from more important work. They are THE MOST important work.”
I love this quote from John Trainer, MD. Tending little hearts and needs is a calling from God for mothers- a calling so much more important than emails and to do lists!
Titus 2:4 emphasizes the importance for women to LOVE their children, and to keep LEARNING to love their children more…
“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” – Titus 2:3-4
2. False GUILT is not from God.
The feelings of false guilt I get for needing help sometimes is NOT from God. The feelings of false guilt from never being a “good enough” mom is NOT from God.
False guilt is very “me-centered,” instead of being God-centered. It focuses on me not being a good mom instead of God’s grace covering my shortcomings.
I don’t have time to get into it here, but here is an excellent article I found on the difference between false guilt and true guilt.
The cure for false guilt is to go back to the gospel, to go back to what Jesus accomplished for us at the cross. Romans 8:1-2 says
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”
From there I need to stop the “me-centered” thoughts of inadequacy, and focus on the “God-centered” thoughts of Jesus making up for my inadequacy. Jesus is enough!
3. It’s ok (and good!) to ask for Help.
God wants believers to help and serve eachother…
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” – Galations 5:13
It is easier for me to serve others than have them serve me. Why should I not receive others blessing me? Usually pride or false guilt keeps me from asking for help.
So today… today I rejoice. I still feel these struggles rising up inside me, but now I know the truth I need to remind myself of. And there is so much freedom and peace in that.
If you’re a mama who struggles with feeling like you’re not getting important work done, feeling like you’re not a good mom, or if you’re just plain tired and need some help… I hope these words encourage you.
REST in His grace. And press on doing the important work of being a mama that you are called to.
Even if it takes you 45 minutes to make applesauce and feed your baby 😉
With big hugs,
If this encouraged you in any way, I would LOVE to hear from you in the comments below!!!
How could this little face cause any trouble? 😉
Wilder LOVES playing in the wide open spaces here in Honduras